Yesterday, I got my new prescription glasses. So today, I spent hours riding my bike around town pretending that I was in a video for THE SMITHS, circa 1987. Because that's just the ridiculous kind of shit I do. I was dressed the part, and sing-screaming at a level no neighbor could ignore: "STOP ME, OH-OH-OH … Continue reading I Smelt The Last Ten Seconds Of Life
Entry from my "Dream Journal", for the night of 3/6/2012: The dream began with me driving up to a lone establishment on a remote highway to refuel my car. The gas station attendant is Irish actor Cillian Murphy.... Cillian: "What can I do for ya, Lass?" Me: "Fill her up, please. Unleaded." Cillian: (starts pumping the gas, then gazes thoughtfully toward the sky) … Continue reading Fill Me Up, Cillian Murphy
Teenagers: masters of bullshit. Here are a few recent conversations between myself and Lana, my 14-year-old daughter. You have to excuse her. Due to hormones, she has temporarily gone FULL-RETARD. CONVERSATION #1: Lana: "You and Dad are sooooooo mean! None of the other kids have that rule. None of my friends have such strict parents. NOBODY I know … Continue reading Her Life Is A Dark Room…One. Big. Dark. Room.