If My Nose Was Runnin’ Money, I’d Blow It All On You

Anne Hathaway's I'm-with-stupid face...

Entry from my “Dream Journal”, Spring 2013:

As the dream begins, I’m sitting in my home late at night, bored.  I decide I want to go shopping, but there’s a problem:  my car doesn’t work.  So I go outside and walk through my neighborhood until I find a vehicle to steal — although I call it “borrowing”, because I fully intend to return it.  I choose a big blue van.

The van is unlocked, and when I hop in, I find a set of keys in the ignition….let the party begin.  I crank it up and head for Little Rock.

About 40 minutes later, I arrive at Target.  I park and get out, ready for some serious shopping.  But just as I approach the store, cops swarm the parking lot.  DAMN, they’re onto me.

I run across the lot and head for the nearest house…it’s a small red brick home, probably 2-3 bedrooms.  After breaking one of the windows with a rock, I climb inside and fall into a dark room.  I crawl and fumble around in blackness for several seconds, then I reach out and feel a human leg.  As I stand up, I hear the *flick* of a light switch, and the room is illuminated.  I’m standing face to face with actress Anne Hathaway.

Me:  “What the HELL?….”

Anne:  “Do you like my hair?”   She rubs her head.  Her hair is in corn rows.

Me:  “Uhhh….sure.”

Anne:  “I have an Oscar.”

Me:  “Yeah.  I heard.”

Anne:  “You want to hold it?”

Me:  “Huh?”

Anne:  “You wanna hold my Oscar?”

Me:  “Nah.  I’m good.”

Anne:  “HOLD IT!”  She lifts her Oscar from a nearby dresser and shoves it into my hands.  She is suddenly misty-eyed…

Anne:  “Let’s sing ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ together, you and I.”

Me:  “Let’s not.”

Anne: *starts singing* “I dreamed a dream of time gone byyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy….”

Me:  “Shit.”

And with that, I drop her Oscar on the floor, climb back out the window, and flag down the cops to turn myself in.

The moral of this dream:  crime just doesn’t pay, kiddos.

Anne shit GIF


Anne Hathaway Oscar GIF

Until next time….

dreamer, blogger, and actually a HUGE fan of Anne in the excellent film “One Day”,

Jenn xo


4 thoughts on “If My Nose Was Runnin’ Money, I’d Blow It All On You

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