Daybreak at the Shoreline
I am kneeling at the edge of everything.
I crawled to get here.
At the place where the land meets the sea,
is it a beginning, or a finale?
Perhaps this is intermission.
The great, black curtain is down.
The theatre is dark,
save for the lamps that sparkle light years above,
as distant as my understanding of things.
Do I dare to make a wish?
It has been the longest night — 39 years, end to end.
Every action or lesson, blissful or blistering, rehearsed or unplanned,
has prepared me for a role that has yet to be revealed to me.
I wait here, in stillness.
Suddenly, everything is becoming an inverse —
darkness and light, switched at day’s birth.
The glittering backdrop fades
as that spectacular solar spotlight takes center stage.
Birds and stone and waves and shore emerge slowly,
like timid thespians.
In the manner of the most accomplished actors,
they speak volumes without saying a word,
and their message is: “It’s time.”
–Jenn Howe, 12-31-14
Favorite Moments, 2014
above: an adorable pre-prom moment between Christian and Lana.
above: two lamps Lana bought me for Mother’s Day. I love them!
below: I found this a few months ago — a letter Lana wrote for me when she was very small and just learning to write cursive. I’m the luckiest Mom in the world. ❤
below: enjoying time at the surrouding lakes all summer…
above: Lana on the beach, old school.
below: the chapel at Garvan Woodland Gardens. So peaceful and beautiful.
below: Lana playing with sand again (always). Jamaica…
above: just a baby
below: holy crap. They’re taking her senior cap and gown photos. #senior2015
below: celebrating my little sister’s 30th birthday in downtown Little Rock. We stayed in a room at the Capital Hotel, went out for a nice dinner, and sang at a dueling piano bar. We started the night with cake and champagne. Steph deserved to be treated like a queen!…
above: looking feverish under red lights.
below: more of the fabulous hotel, and a visit to the state capitol building the next day. Because why not?
above: the guys at the piano bar doing their thing, and doing it well. Also, that’s my Mom dancing with total strangers in the middle of the floor. Ha!
below: if you’ve read my blog for years, you’ve seen this place a few times before. One of my favorite spots…the rapids (Ouachita River).
above: I like to catch moments when she’s not looking. I’M NOT A STALKER.
below: Lana, first day of kindergarten / Lana, first day of senior year.
(And yes, that’s the same car in both photos, 13 years apart).
below: Lana (and her boyfriend) on the college campus where she’ll be living next year. She was accepted last summer before she even began her senior year of high school, and she has been admitted as an honors student. I couldn’t be prouder. 🙂
above: okay, so look — I went to a Motley Crue concert. Yes, really. I never would’ve thought, either. It wasn’t my idea, but I have to say…it was actually a lot of fun. And I witnessed “The Cruecifly” in person. If you don’t know what that is, give it a YouTube search. It’s worth the trouble. Tommy Lee is a riot.
below: cats in boxes. Because my cats are always either eating, sleeping, shitting, or SITTING IN BOXES.
Well…sometimes they make time to show off for the camera, too…
above: Muffin laughing her ass off after I told her “I’m the boss in this house.” NO RESPECT.
below: Lana and her wild pony hair ❤
above: the last time my daughter would ever march on the field with the Malvern Leopard Band.
below: “Senior Night” for the marching band. Lana and I look ridiculously unhappy in this photo – smiles SO fake – because it felt like NEGATIVE 40 DEGREES that night….sooooooo ungodly cold.
but we tried to make the best of it as our fingers almost snapped off…
below: several shots from HALLOWEEN, 2014. I wonder if most people can tell which is me and which is Lana…
above: gettin’ jiggy wit it.
below: TAKE NOTE — Lana demonstrates how to wear a Halloween mask with equal parts MAJESTY and FIERCENESS.
above: Arkansans may recognize this spot at Petit Jean State Park (near the waterfall).
below: a beautiful evening out on a fishing boat, Lake DeGray…
above: all my closest friends (and readers who have read and commented on my blog for years) should pay attention to this photo, because you’ll be seeing it again…on something I made that I’ll be SENDING TO YOU IN THE MAIL! Coming soon. 🙂
below: these two clowns…
Oh, and look…it’s THESE two psychos again.
Well, how do you wrap this up? A year is a very big thing. And 2014 was the biggest yet, in ways both wonderful (Jamaica, my daughter) and terrible (being worked to exhaustion while dealing with stress unimaginable). While I’m eternally grateful for every good thing in my life, I can honestly say that 2014 was and always will be “the year that almost killed me”. And I mean LITERALLY almost killed me. I don’t share my most private struggles, but for several months I was having intense chest pain and my heart was skipping beats…often and badly. The stress in my personal life was that intense. But you know what they say: “What doesn’t kill you…”
Lol. No more cliches.
Only what the universe is speaking in the poem…
For now, I bid you adieu…
Happy New Year, everyone!
Until next time…