I Don’t Mind You Coming Here Wasting All My Time

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Oh mi gato.  LIFE.  IS.  DIFFERENT.  #EmptyNest

Many people have asked about Lana.  She is fine…now.  The oral surgery became a fiasco, since she had an adverse reaction to the anesthetic.  Puking without end, amen amen.  Buckets of vomit.  There was an actual VOMIT BUCKET, used often.  It was just pitiful.

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But of course, she maintained her incredible sense of humor throughout the ordeal…

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This girl is gold. 🙂

It turned out she needed a special drug to negate her reaction and the severe nausea.  Once she had the drug, BINGO!  No more vomit bucket.  YAY.

Only a few days after that, it was time…

College move in day:

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Even Spooky the cat looks sad.  😦

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A woman now.  Driving her own car to her new life.

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Ahhhh, dorm life.  So glamorous.

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And then there are some moments you can’t even write about.  Letting your baby go…that’s one of them.

We get updates, like this one.  “Hey Lana, how’s your first semester of college going?”…

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Okay then.

She has also taken to walking around town dressed as a giant koala bear.  So she’s fine.  Clearly.

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All kidding aside, she is happy and well (with a great set of straight, beautiful teeth), and she enjoys college, Greek life, and marching band immensely.

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So I couldn’t be more thrilled.

Everyone writes and asks, “Aren’t you sad?  How do you deal with living in an empty house without your kid?”

Damn it, people…you don’t give birth to children so you can be selfish and hold on to them forever.  You love and teach and guide them, and then YOU LET THEM GO.  You prepare them to be able to have their own rich, wonderful life, and then you go on living your own.  THAT’S HOW IT WORKS.

Selfish love says, “Stay near me.  Belong to me.  Do as I do and believe what I believe.”

Real love says, “Fly.  Be your own person.  Find YOUR true voice and authentic self.  And I will always be here for you whenever you need love, help, or advice.”

I prefer to give (and receive) REAL love.

Don’t get it twisted:  it was hard to say goodbye, and I miss her sometimes while she’s at university. But it doesn’t mean I’ll just be sitting here sad, lost…or LONELY — a terrible thing (and unhealthy). Loneliness stems from not being happy or at ease WITH ONE’S SELF — not being at peace in your own company. It’s healthy and fabulous that my daughter is growing & becoming independent, and she needs to see me happy and flourishing on MY own, which is exactly what I will be doing. I feel sorry for parents who act as if they can’t be happy without their grown kids at home (or living very close)…and how damaging this attitude is for their children. Your children are not responsible for your happiness!  Neither is your lover, spouse, or ANYONE else. Other people can SHARE in your happiness, but they cannot PROVIDE it. Not to sound like the Dalai freakin’ Lama or anything, but real happiness can only generate from within YOU, my friends…and most deeply when you learn to be content when you are ALONE. So don’t expect to see me moping around. I’m setting a good example for my girl…how to be a healthy, strong, independent woman.  I’m living life to the full, and I’m NEVER lonely. I’m complete. I’m happy. And living this way ensures that each time I see my daughter again, I’ll have even more happiness to share with her.

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With my little Delta Zeta.  ❤

SO, what’s been happening in my world lately?  Some things never change…

My cats are still lazy as shit.

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I’m still up to my usual ridiculousness.

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Got the hair chopped, even though it has already grown back quite a bit since then.  I’m a Chia Pet.

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On the photography side of things, I’m taking a lot of “baby size” polas, thanks to the Instant Back attachment I added to my Diana F camera. Business card-size polaroids…so cute.  I still want to do a YouTube video tutorial about this device.

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Poetry writing is going well, when I catch the inspiration.  I’ll have to be a lot more careful about what I publish, and where.  I recently found out that someone online was touting MY poems as THEIR OWN.  (I WILL CUT YOU).  Some people may have noticed that a few of those poems are now missing from my blog…I removed them.  Poets — what do you do about situations like this??  It made me a bit nervous about posting my poems, but maybe I’ll get over it and have a few more up for you guys in the coming months.

And besides the usual polaroiding and poeting?  LOTS of reading.  I’ve always been a bookworm, but this year I’ve really doubled down.  I’m taking Stephen King’s advice:

“If you want to be a writer, you have to do two things — you have to write a lot, and you have to read a lot.”

Noted.  And put into practice.

I’ve read well over 50 books so far this year, but here are my FORTY FAVORITES, in case any of you writers/readers are curious…

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So there they are.  40 excellent reads, recommended by moi.  Get you some.

I’ll see you guys soon with more creations and inspiration.  Life is good, my friends.  I’ll raise a glass to that, and to all of you…tonight. 🙂  Cheers!

Killibinbin

xo, Jenn

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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