This just in: Jenn has a thing for...Chevy Chase? Entry from my dream journal, April 17th, 2017: As the dream begins, I find myself standing alone in a hotel room. I barely have enough time to wonder what the hell's going on, when in walks a Caddyshack-era Chevy Chase. Me: Woah. Chevy Chase: Darling! I'm … Continue reading You’ll Get Nothing, And Like It
Above: pretty accurate representation of the average online dating profile pic -- mine included. God bless. So yeah...I tried online dating for a few months. OkCupid, to be exact. I recently erased my profile, but before I ran (crying and screaming) from the insanity, I had a little fun and updated my info. While … Continue reading The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth
Entry from my "Dream Journal", Spring 2013: As the dream begins, I'm sitting in my home late at night, bored. I decide I want to go shopping, but there's a problem: my car doesn't work. So I go outside and walk through my neighborhood until I find a vehicle to steal -- although I call … Continue reading If My Nose Was Runnin’ Money, I’d Blow It All On You
Ladies and Gentlemen, an announcement: This is the BEST. PHOTO. EVER. In case you don't know which one is my daughter, here's a hint: WHITE. Also?... look for the kid who appears to be just one second away from LOSING HER SHIT. BEST. Proud mother of a glow-in-the-dark screaming banshee, Jenn.
Words of wisdom and awesomeness, spoken by my daughter: (about death) -- "At my funeral, I want one of my friends to dress like the Grim Reaper and just stand in the corner." (about dogs) -- "They need to make strawberry labs. They already have chocolate ones. And I call the light ones vanilla … Continue reading You’re a transistor. Lightning resistor.
above: computer screen capture/summary of my day yesterday AND I'm vegetarian. If animals take over the Earth one day and start killing off humans in a fiery fit of justified revenge, I'm TOTALLY in the clear. -- Jenn, animal lover and hero
Film still, "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", 1977. Entry from my Dream Journal, Spring 2012: Lana and I were out for a walk in a neighborhood I've never seen before, and we stopped in front of an adorable house. I told Lana, "Boy, I'd sure like to live there." Just then, a one-eyed puppy … Continue reading When Ifs And Buts Are Candy And Nuts, We’ll All Have A Hell Of A Christmas