You’ll Get Nothing, And Like It

This just in:  Jenn has a thing for...Chevy Chase? Entry from my dream journal, April 17th, 2017: As the dream begins, I find myself standing alone in a hotel room.  I barely have enough time to wonder what the hell's going on, when in walks a Caddyshack-era Chevy Chase. Me:  Woah. Chevy Chase:  Darling!  I'm … Continue reading You’ll Get Nothing, And Like It

The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth

Above:  pretty accurate representation of the average online dating profile pic -- mine included.  God bless.   So yeah...I tried online dating for a few months.  OkCupid, to be exact.  I recently erased my profile, but before I ran (crying and screaming) from the insanity, I had a little fun and updated my info.  While … Continue reading The Truth, The Whole Truth, And Nothing But The Truth

If My Nose Was Runnin’ Money, I’d Blow It All On You

Entry from my "Dream Journal", Spring 2013: As the dream begins, I'm sitting in my home late at night, bored.  I decide I want to go shopping, but there's a problem:  my car doesn't work.  So I go outside and walk through my neighborhood until I find a vehicle to steal -- although I call … Continue reading If My Nose Was Runnin’ Money, I’d Blow It All On You

I Slipped And Dreamt That We Were Free

Ladies and Gentlemen, an announcement: This is the BEST.  PHOTO.  EVER.  In case you don't know which one is my daughter, here's a hint:  WHITE. Also?... look for the kid who appears to be just one second away from LOSING HER SHIT. BEST. Proud mother of a glow-in-the-dark screaming banshee, Jenn.

You’re a transistor. Lightning resistor.

Words of wisdom and awesomeness, spoken by my daughter:    (about death) -- "At my funeral, I want one of my friends to dress like the Grim Reaper and just stand in the corner." (about dogs) -- "They need to make strawberry labs.  They already have chocolate ones.  And I call the light ones vanilla … Continue reading You’re a transistor. Lightning resistor.

When Ifs And Buts Are Candy And Nuts, We’ll All Have A Hell Of A Christmas

Film still, "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", 1977. Entry from my Dream Journal, Spring 2012: Lana and I were out for a walk in a neighborhood I've never seen before, and we stopped in front of an adorable house.  I told Lana, "Boy, I'd sure like to live there." Just then, a one-eyed puppy … Continue reading When Ifs And Buts Are Candy And Nuts, We’ll All Have A Hell Of A Christmas